Under Observation

The sky summons forth a cloud and
a watery angel – with fellows in tow – strides
across the sky purposely: ministering servants all.
This host (often portrayed as arrayed in white despite
their Prussian blue hues) shocks me.
Azure heaven meets verdant earth
in a horizon of promise.
I look up, and see
these angels
seeing me
thoroughly
through

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12 thoughts on “Under Observation

  1. dianerivers says:

    Well, I don’t think I will ever look at clouds quite the same again! I really like having ministering angels seeing me thoroughly through.

  2. Marie Taylor says:

    I like the image of a watery angel. The weather is so alive and individual – almost like a person.

  3. Denise Hisey says:

    Here in Seattle we can see lots of those watery angels… 😉

  4. jannatwrites says:

    Beautiful poem! I like the image of the sky/clouds as a watery angel that can see us wholly.

  5. shoreacres says:

    Not only are your images wonderful, the very shape of the poem emphasizes the meeting of those heavenly clouds and earth.

    Had you noticed? It’s shaped for all the world like a funnel cloud. Will it turn into a waterspout or tornado? There’s no way to know, But it’s a great reminder that, as messengers, angels didn’t always appear as plump cherubs or long-limbed, blond-haired beauties. They could be more forceful, demanding that we pay attention!

    • agjorgenson says:

      Thanks for your comments. I played with the shape of the poem a bit after finishing the text, and am glad that this too spoke to you. In a way it is fitting that the “look” of the poem is significant here, since the poem in an incipient fashion was conceived during a visit to an art gallery.

  6. Back in January, you took to my lament at how WPressers can’t take constructive criticism.

    This is a lovely piece of work.

    “The sky summons forth a cloud and
    a watery angel – with fellows in tow – strides
    across the sky purposely: ministering servants all.”

    I would’ve blipped “forth” and “purposely” simply bc they are not needed. I think your work would be stronger. I love the ministering servants all, the parentheses, and the close.

    =)

    Please feel free to delete part of my comment.

    • agjorgenson says:

      I wouldn’t dare delete these! In retrospect I think stride makes purposely unnecessary, and I will think more about the “forth.” I need to ponder why I included it. But thanks for your help! It is appreciated.

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